Sep 6, 2012

My Phone Was Near Humidity or Rain or Something

That's the summation of why Consumer Priority Service won't be paying my claim for my phone. It's not that much money, to be honest. But it is a scummy, sleazy business practice they have going. I'll sum up what happened as quick as possible. I wanted to try out a Windows phone, so I bought a used HD7 off CowBoom.com for $120. At the time I was offered insurance through a company called Consumer Priority Service. I figured, why not? I bought insurance. Phone worked great. Loved Windows.

Then the phone died a month ago. I took it to a very reputable phone repair shop around the corner. They believed it was the motherboard and said it was not worth the cost to repair. They also told me there was no water damage or surge damage. So, I opened a claim and sent it to Consumer Priority Service. I was told the issue would be resolved within two weeks. Two weeks passed. I emailed. I was told to wait. Then two more weeks passed. I called. Today I received this email:
Based on the information provided to our representative in case # 082-0U7-086-SMW, Consumer Priority Service must unfortunately return your equipment unrepaired. The service center technician has indicated that your product is beyond economical repair (BER) due to water/liquid damage found upon examination. Liquid damage does not necessarily mean that your product has been dropped or immersed in liquid or liquid has been spilled on it. Unfortunately, this type of damage may be caused by something as simple as high moisture content in the air or using your device on a rainy day. The service center has also informed us that a reliable repair is not possible to your equipment due to this damage.

This type of damage is unfortunately not covered under you equipment's warranty.
So, apparently I used my phone when the humidity was high. I can't imagine the failure rate of phones in Florida. And Seattle because of all that rain.

 What I am most surprised about is the lack of ability to conjure up a reasonable lie to avoid paying out the insurance policy. Look, it's only $120. That's not much, so I'm not bent out of shape. But the point is, they are supposed to provide a service and this sounds like a dog ate my homework excuse not to pay out.

 My point: Don't use Consumer Priority Service. Although, I do consider this to be my fault because I usually do a quick Google search to find out if a company is reputable. Had I done so, I would not have chosen to insure with Consumer Priority Service.

Sep 30, 2010

Some Thoughts On Greg Giraldo

Greg Giraldo 1965-2010

As most of you probably know, Greg Giraldo passed away yesterday. He was, far and away, one of the best comedians working today. Every time I saw him perform, whether on television or live, I was always surprised at how smart and incisive his comedy was. The dude knew how to have a take on a subject and then how to crack that thing for every morsel. I would actually go as far as to say he was the smartest comedian working today. He tackled subjects intelligently, which is hard to do. You'll often see comics take on subjects that require intelligence to master, only for them to end it with a dick joke. Giraldo managed to get to the core of most subjects in hilarious and meaningful way. And he seemed to lose nothing when doing a set on television. That's a very difficult thing to do.

"We have a whole religion based on a woman who reeeally stuck to her story"

I met Greg when I was living in New York and he was one of the kindest comedians I have ever met. And that's an amazing thing to say because the vast majority of us are annoying or angry fucks, stumbling through life causing problems or bothering everyone with our self obsessed nonsense. Greg seemed to have none of that when you spoke to him. He was just a nice guy. He would just slide into a table with you while waiting to do a set and hang out. When I knew him, he lacked the sweaty desperation that clings to most of us like skin. He was quite aware of what he was, why he was getting the attention he was at that time and still focused on being the best stand up he could be. I've since read he considered himself to be a bit lazy but you'd never know it by the volume of fantastic material he churned out.

I'm not sure why Greg's death has knocked me down the way it has. Could be because it makes me look at my own failures. Could be because seeing a guy who was doing stand up so right and working so hard pass away so young is completely fucked up. Could just be because he was one of the nicest stand up comedians I've met. I am a man obsessed with justice and things being right. This is just so wrong I can't wrap my head around it.

The more I think about how great he was and how much more he would have contributed to the world of stand up, the more my mind goes back to sitting with him at a table in the restaurant above The Comedy Cellar. I was a regular there for a couple of years, as was Greg, so we often found ourselves together waiting to hit the stage. I think the reason I drift back to those moments when I'm thinking about his great stand up ability is because, above all, he was just a great person. And that's rare in the comedy world. He was really a rare comedian both on and off stage.

Everyone should have known his work when he was alive and they should certainly know it now that he is gone. Go seek out his work and check it out. He was mostly known for his attacks on the Comedy Central Roasts but he was so much more. We've lost something special.

Aug 17, 2010

Tumbleweeds

I've discovered I'm over politics. I'm not sure what happened. I just don't give a fuck anymore. A large part of it was due to watching the Democrats completely destroy any semblance of our Democracy with the health care bill as the completely ignored the majority of Americans in favor of crafting a bill for corporations. I guess that was to be expected but when combined with the other blatant and horrible legislation rolling out of Washington, it's just a bit too much for me.

Then toss in the blind followers of Obama who will dig up any excuse/talking point to defend against legitimate criticism and I'm done. It's like no one has ever seen politics before. Guess what? You have to fight for shit and you have to fight hard. That's how it works. But at the end of the day, it's not that they don't want to fight hard, it's that they have no problem screwing the common man to make Goldman Sachs a couple more bucks. We want them to fight. They don't give a shit.

And, I know, I know, government has always been corrupt, blah blah blah. But it has never been this bad. Never. The fucking the working man over in favor of Wall Street is blatant and stunning. They used to try to hide this shit. No more. Now they do it and toss you a bone and expect you to like it. If you don't, well, you "just don't get the reality of the situation."

No, I do get the reality of the situation. Barack Obama and the Democratic Congress were handed a country in ruins. They were given the same opportunity domestically that Bush was given foreign policy wise after 9/11. The possibility to get something true and meaningful done. The possibility to really turn the ship. But they did no such thing, just as Bush after 9/11. The passed legislation list is long and appears great in their "win" column but in truth, it is mostly hollow and simply not what was needed. Something greater was needed. Something more bold.

I've never really been this disillusioned about the country. I really think we are completely fucked. And not like I did under Bush. To me, this is much worse because there will always be leaders who come along and totally blow it. They have been a part of history. But it's the guys who come after them who are supposed to fix things, change direction and alter the path of ruin. The Democrats have done no such thing. And now the Republicans have gone completely insane.

The Republican march to madness has allowed the Democrats to shift even further to the right, to a place where corporations are all that matters. It's a fucking disaster. There is no one looking out for the little guy anymore and that will not be changing anytime soon. This was the chance but the guy who took the reigns wasn't all that much better than the previous guy. At this point it is just a plunder of America.

Am I comparing Obama to Bush? No. They are two different leaders with two different overlords. But they both seem to me to be bad presidents. And the Democratic Congress is a pool of filth.

So, I'm pretty much done writing about politics. I won't vote for a Republican or Democrat for the rest of my life. I'm done.

Not sure where to go from here as far as the blog goes. I'll let you know.

Aug 6, 2010

Um. No.



Wow. Even for him. Wow.

Aug 5, 2010

Aug 4, 2010

Aug 3, 2010

Fat Drug Addict Doesn't Believe in the President's Birthday



So true. He is probably making up his birthday. It's probably in October. Because he wants to destroy America.

Jul 28, 2010

Noted Climatologist Pat Sajak Pens Solution to Global Warming

Well, we have been waiting and waiting and waiting for Pat Sajak to weigh in on the global warming denier situation. I'd say "debate" but only complete retards who read studies provided by companies like BP don't believe in global warming at this point.

And, as it turns out, Pat is one of those complete retards.

Manmade global warming, like so many other social and economic issues, has become hopelessly politicized.

Um. No. You can't politicize a reality. It's like saying gravity is hopelessly politicized.

Now, if those True Believers would give up their cars and big homes and truly change the way they live, I can’t imagine that there wouldn’t be some measurable impact on the Earth in just a few short years. I’m not talking about recycling Evian bottles, but truly simplifying their lives. Even if you were, say, a former Vice President, you would give up extra homes and jets and limos. I see communes with organic farms and lives freed from polluting technology.

SNAP! Oh, man, Sajak really brought the hammer down. What a fool-proof idea. Can't see any holes.


Then, when the rest of us saw the results of their actions—you know, the earth cooling, oceans lowering, polar bears frolicking and glaciers growing—we would see the error of our ways and join the crusade voluntarily and enthusiastically.

Hey, look at you! Casually making fun of the eventual extinction of polar bears. Tee hee.

And I hate to be a scold, but you have a special obligation to do it because you believe it so strongly. Then, instead of looking at isolated tree rings and computer models, you’d have real results to point to, and even the skeptics would see the error of their ways and join you.

Oh, I think you're confusing "be a scold" with "be a douchebag." Easy to do when making light of environmental devastation.

Oh, and you're a game show host.

Finally, Democrats Speak For The Billionaires

I think I remember a time when Democrats were the party of the working class, the middle class, the guy trying to get by. Holy shit are those days gone. Now they are just a "how can we rape you the hardest?" party.

Today, Senators Lieberman and Conrad came out in favor of extending the Bush tax cuts for the super rich. Because, you know, those tax cuts have worked out so well and we don't want anything getting in the way of the awesome Bush economy.

Today on CNBC, Conrad argued that now just isn’t the time to raise taxes on the wealthy:

We’ve got to be very careful with the timing of what we do. There’s no question in my mind that taxes have to go up on the wealthiest among us. The question is when. I don’t think this is the moment.

Oh, fuck no. Could you imagine if we made them pay the same percentage that, say, a janitor has to pay? What a fucking nightmare. The only way this country works is if rich people can fuck us every possible way and we take it.

LIEBERMAN: We got a long term debt problem as Bernanke said and we gotta begin to bring our government back into balance. Probably in the long term that gonna mean we’re gonna have some more people in higher income levels. But I think that right now, as we’re trying to come out of a bad economy, that would be a mistake. I don’t know if its two years, six months, whether it’s a year, to just hold over these tax cuts so theres more money in the hands of these busineses, small businesses which create most of the jobs, a lot of people are in those upper brackets running those small businesses let’s make sure the economy’s stronger before we start raising taxes again.

Totally. Because the whole lowering of taxes on the Rockefellers gave us nothing but an economic boom. I can't think of a time where we have had a better economy than the years 2000-present. Seriously, don't do anything to blow this.

Please stop voting for Democrats and Republicans. They fucking hate us.

Jul 26, 2010

Awesomest Ad



It's like rap but not rap. It's just horrible.

And that fucker's a natural runner. Looks so comfortable jogging about.

Jul 23, 2010

John Kerry Not Rich Enough

Democrats are fucking awesome.

Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry is docking his family's new $7 million yacht in neighboring Rhode Island, allowing him to avoid paying roughly $500,000 in taxes to the cash-strapped Bay State.

It's called representing your state.

If the "Isabel" were kept at the 2008 Democratic presidential nominee's summer vacation home on Nantucket, or in Boston Harbor near his city residence, he would be liable for $437,500 in one-time sales tax. He would also have to pay $70,000 in annual excise taxes.

Rhode Island repealed those taxes in 1993. That has made the state something of a nautical tax haven.

Kerry spokesman David Wade said Friday the boat is being kept at Newport Shipyard not to evade taxes, but "for long-term maintenance, upkeep and charter purposes."

You cannot get long term maintenance and upkeep in Massachusetts, where boats are raped on a regular basis.

Surprise. Arizona Economically Already Devastated by Insane Immigration Law

What a shock. Turns out of you go after people who make up 8% of your economy, you are fucked.

The vast shopping center that holds his small shop is almost empty. The Food City supermarket closed this spring. Then the furniture shop. Then the pizzeria.


Katchi's revenue was already sagging before April 23, when Gov. Jan Brewer signed SB 1070 into law. Since then, sales have plummeted.


When immigrants leave, Gans said, "stores experience dramatic drops in sales. Apartment owners who rent to immigrants have high vacancy rates and risk losing their buildings. Legal workers or renters or consumers don't generally step in quickly enough to prevent these businesses from experiencing real additional hardship."

But they are not just leaving. Those who stay aren't spending money. Because of fear.

"The economy's already bad, but on top of it [SB 1070] is like a bullet in the head to us," said Osameh Odeh, 35, whose Eden Wear clothing store was empty one recent afternoon. "People don't come out of their houses anymore."

I will enjoy watching the Arizona experiment play out.

Jul 21, 2010

I Picked Up a Horrible Foreign Illness

So, here, take this while I recover.

Jul 6, 2010

Sorry

Forgot to mention there would be a World Cup break. I'm off to South Africa.

Jun 22, 2010

Amazing Tea Party Asshole Part 32

Meet David Jungerman. He's a Missouri farmer who put up a sign along the highway about the horrible, horrible Democrats.


Accusing Democrats of being the “Party of Parasites."

Word. Parasites. Takers of other's money, feasting on this great nation like maggots on a corpse.

The Raytown farmer who posted a sign on a semi-truck trailer accusing Democrats of being the “Party of Parasites” received more than $1 million in federal crop subsidies since 1995.

But David Jungerman says the payouts don’t contradict the sign he put up in a corn field in Bates County along U.S. 71 Highway.

Oh, fuck no. How could anyone see that as contradictory?

Jungerman said he put up the sign to protest people who pay no taxes, but, “Always have their hand out for whatever the government will give them” in social programs.

Crop subsidies are different, he said. When crop prices dip below a certain point, the federal government makes up the difference with a subsidy payment.


Obviously, that is completely different than people who always have a hand out.

According to a farm subsidy data base, Jungerman received $1,095,101 in the past 15 years, including $224,763 in 2000. Last year, he received $34,303.

Yep. You are one of those givers.

Let us know when you realize you are retarded.

Jun 21, 2010

People Who Like To Be Raped

It's not often you run across a group of people who desperately want to be abused, shit on, slapped around and have their eyes gouged out. Sadly, we have a large group of people who love all those things and more. They are known as Tea Partiers, or Tea Baggers.

Currently, the Tea Baggers are mad at Obama for being mean to BP. Yes, the same BP who has destroyed a large portion of the American Gulf coastline. Those guys. Apparently, we should leave BP alone.

While Democrats denounce BP for the spill, a Republican congressman from Texas accuses the White House of performing a $20 billion "shakedown" by pushing the company to create a compensation fund for spill victims. Rep. Joe Barton also apologizes to BP Chief Executive Tony Hayward at a Capitol hearing, although he is later pressured by GOP leaders to apologize for his apology.

Yes. It's a "shakedown." They are innocent victims of the horrible, horrible, responsible government.

Republican Senate candidate Rand Paul of Kentucky said Friday that he was disturbed by Obama's promise to find out "whose ass to kick."

"I'll move past the obvious problem with the appropriateness of the comment to just say this: Look in the mirror Mr. President," Paul said in a statement. "This crisis has been a case study in failure to lead, failure to act, and using a crisis to advance your own agenda rather than solve the problem."

Unless, of course, the problem is small government and a lack of regulation, you son of a retard.

Erin Ryan, a tea party activist in Redding, Calif., said Barton was correct to use the word "shakedown."

"Wow," Ryan said. "Somebody finally said it out loud?"

Yes, but people say shit out loud all the time and it doesn't actually mean anything. For instance, I think your an imbecile and that doesn't mean...well, bad example. You're so stupid it's shocking.

Conservative talk show host Mark Williams, chairman of the California-based Tea Party Express, said the White House went too far by pressuring BP to create the fund while the Justice Department is conducting criminal and civil probes of the spill.

"I'm accustomed to mobsters behaving that way, I'm just not accustomed to it from the president, especially when he's standing there with the attorney general threatening legal action," Williams said. "Where I come from, they call it extortion."

How fucking stupid and sad can a group of human beings get? This is mindboggling. They are upset our government is doing its job and forcing a company (which agreed) to pay for the horrible, horrible disaster that is their fault.

They are upset the government is taking care of its people - because the government is being mean to A CORPORATION. How fucking backwards does your life have to be for you to become upset by the treatment of an oil company? Are oil companies not doing well? Are they having a hard time with all the government tax breaks and hundreds of billions of dollars? Were our invasions of two countries to get a hold on the world's oil supply not good enough? At what point do you think they've had a big enough break? Can they come into your home and rape you? Because they just destroyed the livelihood of hundreds of thousands of Americans, killed millions of sea creatures and left a large swath of water unusable to both man and fish. And you jackasses are upset we are being mean to them. If a nuclear bomb went off in Kansas, I'm sure you clowns would find a way to take it out to lunch.

So, just to sum up:

Government demanding a company pay for damages due to spill: Bad
Government collecting taxes to make roads, schools and libraries: Bad.
Government ensuring all citizens have healthcare: Bad.
Spending millions to bomb, invade and kill Muslims: Good.
All corporations: Good.

Jun 20, 2010

My Exchange With Todd Palin on Twitter

Just had a delightful exchange with Todd Palin on Twitter. He did not take my solutions of using the dead and wizards seriously.




I mean, come on, who doesn't think a magical wizard is the solution?

Jun 19, 2010

Talking a Break From Beach Assholing.

If you've ever been an complete asshole for 2 straight months, you know how taxing it can be. Whenever I go though one of those periods, I like to dash off to a yacht race.

BP chief executive Tony Hayward, often criticized for being tone-deaf to U.S. concerns about the worst oil spill in American history, took time off Saturday to attend a glitzy yacht race off England's Isle of Wight.

Spokeswoman Sheila Williams said Hayward took a break from overseeing BP efforts to stem the undersea gusher in Gulf of Mexico to watch his boat "Bob" participate in the J.P. Morgan Asset Management Round the Island Race.

Good luck, Bob, you horrible fucking cunt.

State Senator Gets "Pwned" by High School Kid

This is pretty fantastic.



Uh...I have to be somewhere that is not here.