Inside The Mind Of A Militia Loony

The nice thing about the internet is when a lunatic is arrested, you can search and find some wonderful shit.

Here's some great info on how to survive the Apocalypse from Joshua Clough, 28, lunatic. He was arrested today in Michigan with his militia pals because they were going to kill a cop and start a civil war.

In the video, he even tossed in some machine gun, helicopter and jet fighter sound effects. It's the kind of shit I did when I was 9, playing up in the hill behind my house. But he's 28.



He's retarded.

Yes!

Finally, someone is making sense!

The leader of the nation’s second-largest diocese urged his congregation to pray for the pope, saying he was suffering some of the same unjust accusations once faced by Jesus.

How many times was Jesus accused of covering up the fucking of boys? Too many times to count according to my Bible.

Who Said Conservatives Aren't Funny?

You can't argue with this kind of evidence. Conservatives are hilarious!



Get it? Obama fucking hates fetuses. So much so, that when they are dead, it's not good enough for him. He then climbs into the dumpster out back and beats them with a baseball bat.

Not only is this cartoon brilliant satire but it is also factually correct. Many people don't realize most abortion clinics keep their fetuses piled high in dumpsters out back. It's just how it's done.

I'm sure this will upset some lefty pinkos - mostly because the image of a barbaric clubbing of dead fetuses is something only a psychopath would envision - but it's for THE CAUSE. This is how we will stop abortion. I can't see how this hilarious cartoon doesn't have some sort of effect on our abortion crazy nation.

I'm going to put this up on the bulletin board at my church because Jesus loved pictures of people beating dead fetuses with baseball bats.

There. Is. A. Lunatic. Behind. You.

Run.

Interesting Justification

Newt Gingrich explains how the Democrats asked to be killed.

GINGRICH: Just as there was no place for the kind of viciousness against Bush and Cheney, there’s no place for viciousness against Democrats. I would condemn any kind of activity that involves that kind of personal threat. But look, I think there’s something very disingenuous about the Democratic leaders who attacked the tea party movement, who refused to hold town hall meetings, who refused to go back home, who kept the Congress locked up in Washington, and are now shocked that people are angry. I think the Democratic leadership has to take some moral responsibility for having behaved with such arrogance, in such a hostile way, that the American people are deeply upset. So let’s be honest with this. This is a game that they’re playing. People should not engage in personal threats. I’m happy to condemn any effort to engage in personal threats. But I think the Democratic leadership has to take some real responsibility for having run a machine that used corrupt tactics, that bought votes, that bullied people, and as a result has enraged much of the American people. And I think it’d be nice for President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Majority Leader Reid to take some responsibility over what their actions have done to this country.

This can be summed up as the "She was asking for it by wearing that skirt" defense.

Right. Well Try It The Other Way Next Time

Why don't you drag your thoughtful ass up to Washington next time - strapped? Then we can see how long you would last against Congressional Security, tough guy.

Some Crazy Shit Going on at WikiLeaks.

This is insane. Since the Iraq War began, it has been suspected the US Military has been targeting journalists. There is even some video that supports this claim but now it appears WikiLeaks may have cracked the code.

And they are in danger because of it.










You can follow WikiLeaks on Twitter here.

This is kind of insane.

Bush Wipes The Dirty Haitain Off

Wow.



That should really help the relief effort.

Stay classy.

Me

Photo of the Pope...

...selecting his next boy.



Poor kid.

Should Be a Winner in November

Thank God they didn't try to put a public option in, or drug bulk negotiating, or drug re-importation, or a medicare buy in.

They went the least popular route. Because they care.

For Those of You Using This Shitty Reasoning...

"Then why was the healthcare industry was spending money against the bill?"

Um. It wasn't. They were both for and against. They wanted to make sure there was no public option and that there was a mandate. They literally got everything they wanted.

Not as much as the drug companies, who, you know, made out like bandits.

A bit of good news for Democrats: PhRMA agreed Tuesday to fund an initial $6 million ad buy in the districts of 38 wavering House Democrats. The pro-reform ads will come from the industry-funded coalition Americans for Stable Quality Care and could hit the airwaves as early as today, a top industry official said. The deep-pocketed trade group didn’t decide how much it would spend in total on the campaign; officials are waiting to review the bill first. The decision to flip the switch on five or six days worth of advertising will come when the industry is comfortable with the bill’s direction. The drug industry is really the only pro-reform group able to match the millions being spent by opponents like the Chamber of Commerce. And the White House had been pressuring the industry for days to OK the ads, industry sources said. So it appears Dems will be getting some air cover soon.

Hmm. Wonder why they did that?

It's just awesome healthcare reform that does nothing to reel in the costs of drug costs. Yay!

Impressive

I mean, beating Bush at being a secretive asshole? Very impressive.

The Democratic administration of Barack Obama, who denounced his predecessor, George W. Bush, as the most secretive in history, is now denying more Freedom of Information Act requests than the Republican did.

Yeah, but this shit is super important.

Transparency and openness were so important to the new president that on his first full day in office, he dispatched a much-publicized memo saying: "All agencies should adopt a presumption in favor of disclosure, in order to renew their commitment to the principles embodied in FOIA, and to usher in a new era of open government. The presumption of disclosure should be applied to all decisions involving FOIA."

Also, the opposite.

An Associated Press examination of 17 major agencies' handling of FOIA requests found denials 466,872 times, an increase of nearly 50% from the 2008 fiscal year under Bush.

Yay!

Pretty Much

A Little Mick Has His First Corned Beef.

Later, he pounded a Guinness and we got into a scrap.

Just One of The Reasons I Hate The Health Care Bill

Guess who came up with the idea of the Excise Tax? You know, the one that is going to tax people who have really good benefits (what we should be striving for, not punishing).

That would be Ronald Reagan.

Yeah. Democrats are now going to implement an idea first thought up by the brains behind Ronald Reagan.

What could go wrong?

Tea Party Shows Their True Cunters

Wow. A guy who needs health care because he has Parkinson's decided to show up to their little hate rally.



So, that's a new low.

Bunning Goes Bunshit

Senator Jim Bunning, the man who recently held a one man filibuster to stop unemployed people from getting a benefits extension, is now holding up nominations because of a Canadian law.

The Kentucky Republican battled Democrats on the Senate floor Tuesday to block two nominations to relatively backbench positions -- because he is opposed to a tobacco-related law passed by the Canadian Parliament.

We live in America, by the way.

We don't live in Canada.

Bunning, who sits on the Senate Finance Committee, is blocking the nominations of Michael Punke and Islam Siddiqui. Punke was nominated to be the Deputy U.S. Trade Representative and was unanimously recommended by the Senate Finance Committee three months ago.

Siddiqui has been tapped to be the Chief Agriculture Negotiator. With the position unfilled, the U.S. is at a trade disadvantage with other countries. A coalition of 42 food and agriculture groups wrote Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) in January to urge his confirmation.

What. A. Dick.

Try Not To Fuck It

Tiger Woods will play in the Masters.

That's 18 holes. Hope the rehab holds up.

It's Only The Beginning

These kind of ads will be running until November and beyond. The Democrats have created a bill that will not help anyone for 4 years and leaves then open to a flurry of attacks. This time the Republicans don't even have to lie.

It's a bad bill.

His Fans Get Really Angry

I feel like I did God's work.

This is Spectacular

Glenn Beck finally figures out that "Born in the USA" is not a patriotic song.



Atta boy.

Dude Wins Best Politician Award

We have a winner. No one can top this gentleman from Utah. Majority House leader Kevin Garn!

The Majority Leader of the Utah House took a nude hot-tub with a 15-year old employee, then paid her $150,000 and had her pledge to keep quiet, he admitted yesterday.

Oh, hell yeah.

Maher detailed the incident in an interview with the paper. She said that in 1985, age 15, she was employed by Garn, then 30, at his business, Pegasus Records and KSG Enterprises

Uh huh.

Garn, she said, "struck up a relationship" with her, as the paper puts it.

Yeah. Go slow. Don't rush this shit.

Unzip.

One night, he took her to a location in Salt Lake City -- it's unclear where -- where they both got in the hot-tub nude.

Oh, shit. Uh huh...

"I can unequivocally tell you there was no physical contact, there was no touching, there was no intercourse, there was none of those things. It simply did not occur. I'm not trying to downplay what did occur but I want to make it very plain."

Boooooooooo.

Zip.

Cock tease.

Worst story ever.

Not Going Well

Things continue to turn to shit for America's loud idiot hole.

On March 9th, TurboTax advertisements began running on Glenn Beck’s show on the Fox News Channel. Participants in the StopBeck effort promptly sprang to action. Less than 24 hours later, TurboTax announced that they would be pulling their advertisements from Glenn Beck’s show.

That was one hell of a day, though.

This brings the total number of advertisers to drop Glenn Beck to 120.

Holy fuck. Who is left? The Pro-Rape council?

On a related note, the broadcast of Glenn Beck’s show in the U.K. has been running without any advertisers for over a month now.

Sound economic decision, Fox. Clearly you are a well run business.

Dude is so close to screaming from atop a milk crate.

The Most Important Story Ever

Seriously, that shit was no joke.

It reminded Dead Letter Boy of this:

As Good As it Gets

Putin: As close as we'll ever get to having an actual Centaur.

Limbaniac!

Rush is a spectacular human being. Since I started this blog, I have generally avoided writing anything about him because I consider him to be a shock clown. But, seriously, dude...

"I am reasonably sure that Paterson will be appointing the replacement, assuming that he, you know, doesn't resign in the next 60 or 90 days," a caller said to Limbaugh.

"Let's assume you're right," Limbaugh responded. "So, David Paterson will become the massa...who gets to appoint whoever gets to take Massa's place. So, for the first time in his life, Paterson's gonna be a massa. Interesting, interesting."

The dude does not abide.

Um. That's Not a Good Defense.

Maybe you've heard of Representative Eric Massa. He's "retiring" from the House. He also has been accused of groping male staffers. And now he's hitting the media circuit to defend his actions.

KING: It may be silly, but I guess we have to ask it, are your -- are you gay?

MASSA: Well, here's that answer, I'm not going to answer that.

KING: In -- in year 2010?

MASSA: Why don't you ask my wife, ask my friends, ask the 10,000 sailors I served with in the Navy.

Um. Dude. When conversing about whether or not one is gay, you shouldn't say "10,000 sailors." Ever.

Does it get better? Oh, yes.

Former Rep. Eric Massa, who resigned from Congress amid sexual harassment allegations, acknowledged Tuesday groping a staffer but described it as tickling, not sexual behavior.

Because, who doesn't tickle grown men?

"Now they're saying I groped a male staffer," Massa said. "Yeah, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday and it was kill the old guy."

Here are a few of the things you should not have mentioned in that one comment:

I did grope him.

I tickled him.

Four guys jumped on top of me.

Worst defense ever.

UPDATE:

Oh, dear.

According to Peter Clarke, a Navy shipmate, Massa was notorious for making unwanted advances toward subordinates. He tells the story of his friend Stuart Borsch, with whom Massa shared a hotel room while on leave during the first Gulf War. "Stuart's at the edge of the bed," Clarke says Borsch told him at the time, "and [Massa] starts massaging him. Massa said, 'You'll have to get one of my special massages.' He called them 'Massa Massages.'" Ron Moss, a Navy shipmate and Borsch's roommate, confirmed that Borsch told him this story at the time.

Um. Maybe change your story to: "Please don't talk to any of the 10,000 sailors I tried to diddle."

Thanks Roy!

Rush Opens His Stupid Hole. Again.

Rush Limbaugh is a spectacular idiot who talks out of his ass at a level rarely seen. Today, he pulled what I like to call, "A beaut."

CALLER: If the health care bill passes, where would you go for health care yourself? And the second part of that is, what would happen to the doctors, do they have to participate in the federal program, or could they opt out of it? [...]

LIMBAUGH: My guess in even in Canada and even in the UK, doctors have opted out. And once they’ve opted, they can’t see anybody Medicare, Medicaid, or what will become the exchanges. They have to have a clientele of private patients that will pay them a retainer and it’ll be a very small practice. I don’t know if that’s been outlawed in the Senate bill. I don’t know. I’ll just tell you this, if this passes and it’s five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented — I am leaving the country. I’ll go to Costa Rica.

Wow. Bold talk from a dude who went to Puerto Rice and was caught at the airport with a bottle full of Viagra.

Costa Rica, now home to a fake, awesome private healthcare system. Right?

Costa Rica Offers Good-Quality Health Care

Costa Rica has universal health care, one of the best health systems in Latin America. As always with nationalized health care, expect red tape and long waits, but the quality of Costa Rica's health care is excellent. Private health care is also available, very affordable, and high quality. Many doctors speak English and have received training in Europe, Canada, or the U.S. There are three large, private hospitals that most expatriates use: CIMA hospital in Escazú, Clinica Biblica in San José, and Clinica Católica in San José-Guadalupe.
Statistics from the World Health Organization frequently place Costa Rica in the top country rankings in the world for long life expectancy, often even ahead of Great Britain and the United States, even though the per-capita income of Costa Ricans is about one-tenth that of the U.S. and the U.K. Arguably, one reason for this is the slower pace of living in Costa Rica. And, of course, the healthy, fresh, non-preservative-laden foods found there, and the welcoming tropical climate. Costa Rica just seems to be a healthy place to live.

Costa Rica's Government-Run Health Care System

With a government-sponsored network of more than 30 hospitals and more than 250 clinics throughout the country, the Caja Costarricense de Seguro Social (CCSS) has primary responsibility for providing low-cost health care services to the Costa Rican populace. Although sometimes overburdened, this system has worked well for Costa Ricans for the past 60 or so years. Open not just to Costa Rican residents, the CCSS provides affordable medical service to any foreign resident or visitor. Foreigners living in Costa Rica can join the CCSS by paying a small monthly fee--based on income--or they can buy health insurance from the state monopoly Instituto de Seguro Nacional (INS), valid with over 200 affiliated doctors, hospitals, labs, and pharmacies in the private sector.

Oh.

You crazy, horrible, fat, stupid, drug deaf, drug addict, four time divorced millionaire.

Shooting a Commercial Today

for Honda.

Honda is clearly trying to hit Toyota while they are down because they are filming a ton of commercials.

She's Delightful

CNN You Home Of Stupid Bullshit

That's some impressive shit.

Let's Do It

Cranky Baby Wants What He Wants

This guy is fucking insane.

Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY), who has become a one-man filibuster of a bill to extend unemployment benefits, apparently placed a hold on all presidential nominees last week.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's office confirms to TPMDC that Bunning has placed the holds.

"It turns out that not only has he been blocking the unemployment insurance bill, he has also been blocking the confirmation of nominees since last week as well," said Reid spokesman Jim Manley.

Someone needs to tell Grandpa Cranky his team didn't win. It's called "being in second place and accepting like a man."

I hope his end is horrible.

Bringing New Meaning to the Word Motherfucker

Senator Jim Bunning, who held that one man filibuster to stop unemployment benefits is still on a roll.

When Senate producer Z. Byron Wolf spotted Bunning exiting his office, Bunning said, “I’m not talking to anybody.” When Wolf asked him to stay and talk to our cameras, Bunning walked toward the elevator and shot the middle finger over his head.

Stay classy.



Video link